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I sat down today and started an outline. It seems very overwhelming and I prayed for God to give me some direction. We have 8 adopted kids, two biological children, and a load of testimonies to God's faithfulness.
Every testimony given to me shapes how I live my life today. If not for adoption, I would have never grown as a Christian so profoundly. I certainly would not have grown in my awareness of what is important in life.
From a fake nail wearing, perfectly coiffed hair-styled, keeping up with the Joneses kinda gal....to a goodwill shopping, ponytail wearing, driving my 15 passenger van mom of ten.
so without further ado---
my first little ditty I wrote today-- ( not edited but too excited not to share)
January
2005 A walk through NanChang
The third day we were in NanChang was pivotal
for me as an adoptive parent. Here I was
plunked down in the provincial city of our child and out for a leisurely stroll
with the two other mothers and their newly adopted children. My mom was also along just to get out of the
hotel and the four walls of our room.
I can
remember us all walking single file leaving the hotel grounds on to what the
Chinese call a sidewalk. We were laughing at the fact we had been warned by
BTDT parents to dress our girls warmly so the “clothing police” would not
target us for a tongue lashing. The
clothing police were the old grannies
just looking for someone to berate for not dressing their child in the required
20 layers for mid-winter in NanChang.
You
could pick out our group easily as we were four American ladies walking with
their Chinese babes for all to see. We
were given the “thumbs up” by many and smiling faces were numerous. And then it happened. The first contact with
“them”. As swift as a gazelle, she came out of nowhere to grab a hold of my daughter’s
bunting. Yes, I said, “Bunting” …as in
snowsuit for winter. She was quick to
show her disgust and start waving her aged finger at me. She was clearly distraught over the fact that
my child’s bunting was not stuffed full of clothes and bursting at the seams
from layers. She basically said, “Nice
try, sweetie, but you get a Big “F” in dressing your child.” You see, she could feel a huge gap between
the bunting and Cassie’s shoulder.(Yes, she came right up and grabbed her
clothing) She knew from experience that
I did not have enough clothing on my child to make Cassie stiff as a board and
unable to scratch her nose. The four of us laughed as we walked further down
the street. Someone was saying, “I told
you so!” back in the US.
Then, I had a realization that wasn’t too
funny. I was angry and wished I could
spatter away in Mandarin my disgust that my child was abandoned and not good
enough because she did not have the outside part of her left ear! Really?
Clothing layers? That was the
last thing I was worried about. My daughter was 22 months old and had never had
the touch of a mother. Never had the hug
of a father that says, “I will protect you forever”.
No security. No protection. No love.
Clothing?
Shame on you.
I was also struck by the staring people as I
had never really walked the street of China.
I didn’t know staring was okay , that someone could point at you, move
closer to you and it was politically correct in every way.. It was unnerving to say the least. My daughters both had very blonde hair at the
time and, poor Chelsea’s hair was very curly!
They both had crowds follow them through the local WalMart when we went
to purchase items for the orphanage. One
person thought Karli was Britney Spears and several of the young girls reached to
touch Chelsea’s hair without even asking.
The walk down that shopping street in Nanchang
also haunted me. I could feel the eyes
on me and I thought to myself, “What if one of these ladies is Cassie’s mother?”
I wondered how many of these women
have given up a child? I was sure some
of them had. The orphan crisis in China was horrible and the culture of feeling
that disabilities were a curse was prevalent.
I was sad….
Sad for the moms who had to abandon their child
because of a birth defect.
Sad for
the culture that knew nothing of God’s love for children.
Sad that
my daughter had to live without a love of a family for all those months.
NanChang left its mark on my heart. I would never be the same after my stroll
down the street. I left the hotel a
joyous new adoptive mother and returned with a life’s calling to seek help for
every orphan I possibly could with God’s help.
It was an urgent feeling I have not lost since that day.
