Thursday, October 16, 2014

Why aren't we sharing the hard stuff?

I am burdened for those that come after me.  I feel families are not at all prepared for adoption these days.   Yep....there, I said it.

Adoption is not rescuing a child and having them feel better
Adoption is not having the child walk into your family with a thankful, grateful heart.
Adoption is not easy for your children who are already in your home.
Adoption is not easy on a marriage
Adoption is not easy and it takes a long time to get to normal...if ever.

Think about these things.

You child is suffering from multiple trauma
Your child is not excited about being adopted
Your child is not likely to love you for awhile
Your child is being taken from everything familiar to them
Your child is being made to eat foods and do things completely foreign to them (hugs-what are they?)
Your child can't understand you and you look really weird to them
Your child may not be capable of things you ask because they area paralyzed with fear
Your child might steal food - it's trauma related survival skills
Your child might try to run away from you
Your child is probably malnourished and may not be capable of eating properly

Am I getting thru?  Your child is a mess and you have accepted the challenge of healing them.
Will they heal?  Maybe.
Will they love you? Probably
Are there any assurances?  No.

Please talk with other adoptive parents before proceeding with an adoption.
If you are in the process....EDUCATE YOURSELF ABOUT THE HARD STUFF.

If you are called to adopt you owe it to yourself and your child to prepare and know this is hard.

~~~ the kids that are the hardest to love need you the most~~~

Some good resources :
Read every blog your can get your hands on that truly shows the easy and hard stuff that comes with adoption!

Adoptive families---   A special plea.   Share your stories and tell the hard stuff.