Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Look for the daffodils

I have never pined for warm weather like I have this Spring.  Its been a hard winter in Central Maryland with more snow days than our fair share.  Living on a steep hill doesn't make it any easier to swallow even though it makes for incredible sledding for the children.

I remember when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the Fall of 2010.  A friend of mine said to me,"Just think, when you see the daffodils in Spring, this will be all over."  I cried that Spring at the first daffodil.  Never had such a simple statement has such meaning to me...such LIFE.   

When we go through the valleys in life, many times we are on "autopilot".  Our body just goes through the motions and we are not invested in life from day to day.  I know that's how I dealt with my cancer.  It wasn't until that first daffodil that I realized I had been pushing through each day trying not to dwell on the physical aspects of cancer and the gravity that I was living through a life threatening illness.

I witnessed how my family reacted when I was diagnosed. My family history was strong on my mom's side as her mother and grandmother had breast cancer. Logically, she was next - but it was me.
I cant really speak for her and her feelings but I would say she would have taken my diagnosis any day instead of watching me go through surgery, chemotherapy, and the resulting health challenges.  As a mom, we'd all rather take the pain than see our children suffer.

My adult daughters witnessed their mom being sick.  Reality strikes when you realize a parent could die and that they are not invincible as most children see them.  One of my girls lived the entire Fall without seeing me because she was far away at college.  As I think back, it was probably best for her to be elsewhere and I thank God for His ultimate hand in that.  My oldest daughter has recently moved back to the area and the fact she was around to help our family with day to day activities proved invaluable.  Gods plan was sovereign and each child was placed where they could best handle my situation.

Had I not had a personal relationship with Jesus, I would have had a much harder time dealing with my cancer and its treatment.  I would not have had HOPE.  I would not have known that He was walking the journey with me and that every small detail with under His authority.  I love the phrase that says:
Even if our problems seem OVER our head
They are always UNDER God's feet. 

Our Savior is there for any circumstance, and He is ready to lift us up and carry us to our destination.  Just imagine Christ gently wrapping his arms around you and guiding you to a place of safety and security.  Gentle. Kind. Loving.  This is our heavenly Father doing what He does best.

So, the next time you look around and realize you are on auto-pilot - basically, dredging through a situation - look for the daffodils.  Look around and see that God has taken care of the little things even when you don't recognize His kind, gentle touch.  It makes living through the valley a little easier.  It makes it easier to be thankful for the trial.  It makes it easier to survive the trial.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.