Monday, March 31, 2014

Lipstick on the mirror --

My husband and I presented at an orphan conference this weekend on the subject of special needs.
It was a "no brainer" for us to tell others how God grew our family and how He called us to each child.  Every one of our children has a story of how God led them to our family and gave us confirmation that the path we chose was His path for us.  He equips us daily and has led us to children with severe needs.  Not everyone is called to children with special needs and not everyone is called to a child who can't walk or hear. Not everyone is called to adopt.

However, when you think you are called to adopt and grow your family.....

  how do you really know?

We all want "lipstick on the mirror" from God telling us the answers to life.  If he cant do that, than I am willing to look for skywriting in the sky ---  right?   Well, sometimes you have to leap first and then you receive confirmation.  He is asking for our trust.  He is seeking that we give it over to Him.  Its not easy is it?

Prayer is the first and foremost way to seek His will.  Go to Him and present your petition - asking in confidence that He hears and will answer.  Be still and look for those answers.  Sometimes they are full out obvious and sometimes they are not.

 Here's my list of DO's and DON'Ts:

  • Seek counsel with other Christians - especially if you have a spouse. Pray TOGETHER. 
  •  Make a list of "pros and cons" regarding adopting a specific child  (or any child)
  • Take into account how the addition of a child will affect your current family unit.
  • Think about your finances - to finance the adoption as well as any therapies or surgeries that may come your way parenting the child.
  •  consider your ability to parent another child. (think about your health, stress level, time commitments outside the home, and stability of your marriage)
  • seek out any doctors you may need for your child's special need.  Are there specialists in your area or will you have to travel to them?
  • disregard your spouses hesitation.
  • move forward if your spouse is "not on the same page" as you are.
  • stop praying
 Gather all your information and take time to make up your mind.  God may have another family waiting for the exact child you have hesitation about.  Educate yourself in every possible way about the process of adoption and the special need you are considering.  Find out about the area the child is from and if anyone knows other children who have come home from that area.  This is a huge window into their care and could foreshadow possible emotional issues that the child may have.

Once you have done your homework and you can make an educated decision - you need to go with your instinct.  Instinct is my equivalent to the Holy Spirit--- it is the Holy Spirit.  God gave you this to guide you and help you make this giant - no turning back - decision.  Follow the Holy Spirit.
I am still on the fence if there is another child for our family. 
Hubby says NO ...     like really....NNNOOO
So I pray and I ask the Lord to show me how to deal with these feelings.  I can't save them all - as I have been told SO many times by "kind, well meaning" people who meet me.  (you know everyone says that to you when you are thinking about another child or telling them you ARE adopting another child)
As an adoptive parent, we are walking the narrow path.  There are many people who just don't GET IT.   Don't allow those people to dictate how your family is made.  God is the one to consult. 
He may give you lipstick on the mirror....or skywriting in the heavens.  Whatever the mode of confirmation, I pray He moves in your life and the answers are apparent!