Yes,I know. That's a loaded question from a stranger isn't it?
Lets see - what else do I get asked.....
Are they sisters? Are they brothers? Where are they from? Are you done yet?
I also hear the statement, "Boy, you sure have your hands full!"
That one kind of "irks" me in a way I can't explain.
I wanna say to them -- Yes I do - and what have you done for God lately?
Sometimes I have to check my attitude at the door.
So, the basis for this post is that we are called to adopt and we are slowly introduced to the "adoption lingo" You know - saying BIO instead of real....knowing when someone says "YOURS" that indeed yours is not indicative of biology but of the heart.
I remember when I was first processing for our daughter, Cassie. Excited was not even close to how I felt on my new adventure. I chose to travel with my two bio girls to Atlanta to meet up with my agency representative and other families who had used my agency. A weekend to celebrate and get to know other adoptive families.
The trip there was uneventful and we were welcomed with open arms and kindness. The weekend was everything I had imagined except for the sheer panic the first moments I sat down with the families. Panic that I would say something "wrong". I had never spent time with families whose lives revolved around adoption and I was scared to talk. (Those that know me can attest to the fact this is a rare occurrence)
There was a lot of talk in "letters" - PA, TA, LOI, SN. All of these acronyms had their place in adoption lingo but I hadn't memorized any of them and had never been forced to use them. I can see why a lot of prospective adoptive parents look for a friend to help translate what they are being told.
Its true...there is a lingo.
As far as when strangers make comments to our obviously "different" families - I have to remind myself that they have not been to "Adoption Lingo and Theory 101". They have no clue how to phrase their questions properly in order to NOT offend the adoptive parent. I try to kindly rephrase their question to the proper context and then take the opportunity to educate.
Don't get me wrong - I KNOW there are people out there and they are just prying and getting into my business. I can sense that a mile away. First, the stares and then the "smile" - soon enough they are sauntering over to engage me. They are the busy bodies who just have no common sense. They ask absolutely ridiculous questions in front of my children. Excuse me??? Yes, I get hot but I have to remind myself of their need for grace. I have to demonstrate Jesus to them. This is part of my calling.
If a person starts a conversation and is genuinely interested in my family, I can tolerate stupid questions. Intent is easy to read in people - especially being an adoptive parent for 8 years. If a person is just nosey - they better take two steps back cuz momma bear may rear her ugly head.
What I am trying to convey is that God calls us to testify to His glory in our lives. He has given us children and they are OURS...yet, we need to educate others on why we adopted and how God orchestrated it down the last penny. How God equips us to handle our quiver and allow us to shine because of His help every day.
The next time someone comes up to you and asks a question or makes a statement - step back and say to yourself.... "I'm gonna blow them away testifying to Gods goodness and love through my kids stories". Challenge yourself to completely overwhelm them with your testimony. Dare them to walk away unchanged.