Adoption Question number 2:
Did you adopt in between ages? For example did you adopt in order so
that every time a new sibling came, they were the youngest or did the
order change by adopting a 5 year old when you had a 3 year old at home?
If so, how did it go?
We have brought 8 children into our
family through adoption. At the time of our first adoption in 2005, our
biological girls were 16 and 13. We
adopted children in birth order the first three adoptions ....bringing
our children home at the ages of 20 months, 30 months, and 26 months.
So in 2007, we have children who were 19, 16, 4, 3, and 2. We then
adopted a daughter in 2009 who was 6 months older than our youngest
child. So we did break birth order for her adoption - however - she is
deaf and was very behind in every way. So, even though we broke the
birth order it did not seem like we did.
Six months later we adopted two more girls and "filled in the middle"
We added two adolescent girls into our family -- 11 and 14 yrs old.
This was absolutely breaking birth order but really was a smooth
transition. Both girls assimilated easily into our family and are well
adjusted children for spending a great deal of their life in an
institution.
Our last double adoption was of two boys ages 4
and 6 at adoption. So the oldest broke birth order and the 4 yr old is
the youngest, This adoption was in 2012. Currently, the ages of our
children are 25, 22, 18, 15, 10, 10, 8, 8, 8, and 6 The ten yr olds
are 9 months apart and the 8 yr olds are 5 weeks and 6 months apart
respectively.
Evert time we adopted our world was rocked for a
period of months until the dust settled and everyone got used to each
other. Every time we found a new normal....slightly different than the
life before adopting the most recent child(ren). Birth order was
certainly a factor but our situation of breaking birth order was a bit
different because of the special needs of the children we adopted.
Every agency and family has their idea of whether or not to break birth
order. If you have a very strong minded, "in charge" child you may not
want to adopt a child that is slightly older and would usurp his place
in the family. Many agencies do not allow out of birth order
adoptions and also want the youngest child in your family to be 9 months
older than the child you adopt. I never used any of these agencies so I
did not have to comply with these rules.
I truly believe God
equipped us with the instinct to know what is right for our family when
adopting. Always remember that a child who is a bit older and has been
in an orphanage will be socially behind and most likely developmentally
behind a child of the same age raised in a loving family.
There has been a calling placed on my life...that of a Pastor's wife, mother, child advocate, and speaker. God has led me to start this blog to help those who need support and encouragement in their journey of life I am so blessed by the Lord to be a mom to ten wonderful kids with special medical issues as well as be called a "cancer survivor". My life has been filled with trials and victories He has given me to share. I invite you to come along and be filled by His glory.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
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